By Milo Morrod
The threat of a new national lockdown has thrown the spotlight on one of the most emotive aspects of the Covid pandemic: funerals.
At the height of the first wave in April, just ten mourners were allowed to pay their respects to lost loved ones in Kingston-upon-Thames.
The limit is currently 30, but that could be restricted once more. While that means added sorrow for families, it also presents a fresh challenge to the funeral care business for which this has been a year like no other.
While NHS workers have rightly been lauded, undertakers have been the forgotten heroes and heroines of the virus crisis.
Now, the manager of a busy branch of Frederick W Paine in Kingston has spoken out about how she and her firm have coped.
Dawn Trigg said: ‘I’m very proud of the way we’ve adapted and continued to provide comfort and closure for bereaved families.
‘Under normal circumstances, we would meet each family face-to-face. We would take time to listen to their stories about the person that has died so we can tailor the funeral to their needs. ‘However, at the peak of the pandemic we were having to arrange funerals with the next of kin over the phone or online, which isn’t the same.’
The restrictions on funerals have seen some bereavement staff across the country attacked or abused for upholding the rules. And there was a national outcry when an official in Milton Keynes was seen on video admonishing two sons for hugging their grieving mother in breach of social distancing rules.
So how has Frederick W Paine handled these intensely sensitive problems?
Dawn Trigg told me: ‘It’s been a fine line between being a responsible, professional company that adheres to government guidelines to keep everyone safe, and providing a compassionate service for grieving families.
‘Explaining the restrictions to families has been hard, but most understand that they are necessary to keep people safe.’
During the first wave of the pandemic, Ms Trigg says the company was dealing with a marked increase in the number of funerals, and that the services had to be ‘simple yet respectful’ due to the limits on numbers.
‘Throughout the pandemic, we’ve said to families that they may not be able to have everyone at the funeral who wants to attend, but we can offer them a choice of different types of funeral service within the restrictions.
‘We’ve also assisted some families with a practical cremation funeral at the time of death, but when the time is right, we’ll help them to organise a memorial service for their loved one that everyone can come to.’
Technology has proved a godsend, too. There has been a ‘welcomed’ innovation of streaming funeral services online.
‘It is very sad that some people are not able to attend, however families have been grateful to say goodbye even in this small way.’
We clapped for carers. We should applaud our undertakers, too.
