On the Bard’s birthday (April 23rd), the Henrietta Barnett School attempted to become the holders of the World Record for the greatest number of people simultaneously reciting Shakespeare. 

This bold feat may not be a surprise to anyone acquainted with our gloriously eccentric English Department, who organized the recital, grouping around four hundred pupils and equipping them with handmade Elizabethan paper ruffs. The means to learn the lines were many and varied – the mass effort even had posters, printed with soliloquies, pinned to toilet doors. 

If all the world’s a stage, then this feat has put the Henrietta Barnett School firmly on it. After being carefully judged by external adjudicators, who walked between contestants to ensure that they knew their lines, we eagerly anticipate the certificate that will affirm our entry into the venerable institution of the Guinness Book of World Records. 

I look forward to presenting all my friends and all my relatives, no matter how distant, with a copy. Congratulations to all the contestants – what a way to celebrate the Bard’s birthday!