How ethical is abstinence? (an observation from a teen)

I am a gigantic fan of documentaries and a few weeks ago I came across one on Youtube called ‘Texas Teenage Virgins (Virginity Documentary)’ on a channel known as Real Stories. Throughout the entire documentary I was filled with frustration from the misleading information and the vast amount of brainwashing. 

The documentary is set in Lubbock, Texas, America; also known as “The bible belt of the US”. Abstinence is a huge part of Lubbock, and teens are preached to about abstinence at least every Sunday. The schools’ policy is to only teach abstinence, there is completely and utterly, no sex education involved. When preaching abstinence, they rely on a scare tactic, Pastor Ed Ainsworth tells teens that condoms have holes in them. Ainsworth says that when you lose your virginity, you also lose your dignity and your reputation. 

He is known for his analogy, for this he asks some people to come up from the audience, he presents the crowd with a filthy, old and used toothbrush, he asks the participants on stage if they would use this, and of course they laugh and respond with “EWW no”. He then presents a brand-new toothbrush in an untouched packet and asks them which toothbrush they would rather use. The audience and the participant obviously all reply with the new toothbrush as their preference. Ed then claims that if you have had sex then you are like a used toothbrush, and if you haven’t then you are pure and like the toothbrush in the packaging. 

With the scare tactic, Ed Ainsworth claims that promoting promiscuity is promoting death in this day and age, even if you are promoting safe sex. Personally, I understand that it is more than okay to save yourself for marriage but the majority of adults in Lubbock are enforcing this fake environment when sex is a very natural part of life. Of course, teenagers need to be aware of STD’s and all the risks but the scare tactic isn’t their way of making them aware, it’s their way of keeping them away from sex. The abstinence message is coming at teens from all angles. According to statistics stated in the documentary, it clearly hasn’t been working as Lubbock has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies and STD’s in the whole of America. I am certain that by Ed Ainsworth telling teens that condoms have holes in, these types of claims are not helping safe sex in any sort of way. 

Eric Benson, from the Texas Health Department, believes that Lubbock likes to have sex just as much as the rest of the world and that it is almost a mask and a lot about denial. As Lubbock is ‘the bible belt of America’ it comes across as trying to maintain an image. I completely agree with this, I am by no means suggesting their faith is for show at all, I just believe that they perhaps feel they set the bar for morals and general ways to live life. 

Ed is constantly throwing out questions that, in my opinion, shouldn’t really even be a question when talking about sex. “What you’re doing with your boyfriend/girlfriend would you be doing in front of your father?” This is self-explanatory and a little bit ridiculous because of course you wouldn’t do anything like that in front of a parent. A question like that can almost trick the mind, as it is as if ‘oh I wouldn’t do that in front of my father’ which then leads too ‘oh so he must have a point, he must be right with what he’s saying’. He takes a basic value when it comes to sex and applies it to the entirety of sex.

“He made me feel like if I held a boys’ hand that I was a sinner” says a young woman from Lubbock who is referring to Ed Ainsworth. Throughout the documentary, I acknowledged that people felt so unconditionally horrible and beat themselves up over touching each other even when they are almost married to that person. 

Teenagers have raging hormones and I feel as though they subconsciously felt that to prove how strong your faith is, you challenge it against something else that is also very strong. This is where hormones come into play as they are so intense and natural that by being able to go against it to prove your faith for God, surely insinuates that you are dedicated to your faith?

Perhaps that is the psychological side to abstinence? However, as hormones are so natural, people shouldn’t be punished or feel any less dedicated to their faith just because they happen to follow a natural process in life.

Eric Benson also talks about how when these people enter marriage, instead of enjoying a necessary part of a lifelong union, they come into the relationship with a lot of fear and misunderstandings largely due to the scare tactics.

I believe that if abstinence is going to be taught, it should also be taught alongside safe sex just because abstinence isn’t going to work for everyone. It is also fair then because otherwise teenagers aren’t getting a chance to be safe as they aren’t told how to use protection or where they can get it from.

I question that their philosophy towards sex isn’t about protecting their young but more about manipulating a group of people as a whole.  It is frightening people to influence and to keep control.  They are probably more frightened of losing that than having an extra baby on their hands.