Slowly society is starting to notice and challenge racist, sexist and ableist comments as well as other prejudicial behaviors.  However, many people still don’t understand that these negative interactions are fueling a more intense problem. Many brave people are trying to stand up and fight back against these toxic attitudes, but this often results in conflict.  

The idea of “calling in” instead of “calling out” is intended to stimulate a more peaceful and reflective experience where people can think about what they are doing wrong and self-criticize the issues that they are creating. Calling in involves the use of phrases such as ‘I’m interested to know why you feel this’ and ‘I find that offensive and here’s why’. Calling out consists of often loudly and aggressively reprimanding people who are using offensive language. Calling in ensures that people are able to learn and remember what they have done wrong, instead of just externally making a change, which is what calling out can cause.  

A place this has started to occur is in an extracurricular club at lunchtime at Radnor House School which is a safe place to discuss experiences and create strategies to deal with situations where offensive comments have been made. Practicing ‘calling in’ has become a key aspect of these discussions and allows for a less aggressive or triggering way of reacting to negative language, without creating conflict. Many of the people standing up to the insensitive behaviors that are often passed around, are fueled by anger and hatred due to the hurt that people feel because of these comments, which is absolutely justified. However, shouting and approaching these situations with extreme aggression can often result in the perpetrator shutting down and becoming completely resistant to all comments as a defense mechanism. This also means nothing is learned, and no improvement is made, as none of the helpful information is taken in. 

There are many changes to be made to our society to ensure that everyone is treated as equals and although there are much more pressing issues, the language, and comments that people use is the first step to developing and improving the way that people are treated as this is the first and highly hurtful aspect of the cycle of prejudice in our society.