Awful Assessments, Evil Exams.
It’s coming for each and every one of us. For a while now, it’s been “just around the corner” and truthfully it still is, but now more than ever we must prepare ourselves for the steep uphill climb and the inevitable battle that we can’t stop. Because the exams are coming, and there’s nothing that we can do about it.
That word often echoes in the heads of students, keeping us up at until they are (not so) literally driven insane. The cruelty. Though some lucky students will never understand the torment behind this so I will attempt to dive deep into the seas of this trauma to explain;
Word limits.
Something I believe was created to punish children for their past sins and drive them deep into perdition. “Why?” You ask. Well let’s pretend that I have been asked to describe what an orange is off the top of my head (and you can join in too by the way) I would say: “An orange is a round, orange coloured fruit that would provide the eater with citrus.” Now let’s say that I was set a word limit and I was forced to describe the orange in sixty words: “An orange is a round fruit surrounded by an orange peel for protection... They provide citrus and are grown mainly in winter and summer… It sometimes bruises and I won’t eat it. When it moulds I try not to touch it as I think it’s gross… I sometimes mistake them for satsumas… I don’t like it that they’re sometimes sticky.
As you probably noticed, the quality of my work decreased and this happens a lot in exams and test papers and you often get marked down for it. Sometimes it even comes to a point where you are so desperate to meet the limit you’re not even making sense anymore.
P.E.E.L paragraphs.
This I find distressing because it implies that everything the author writes has some secret, deep meaning. For instance: “The blue drapes stilled as the wind stopped.” In a P.E.E paragraph your teacher would say the answer is something like: “The colour blue represents the character’s hidden depression and lost will to live and the still wind represents the calm before the storm…” Well, sometimes I heard this and I think to myself: “WHY?! MAYBE THE AUTHOR JUST LIKES HOT WEATHER AND THE COLOUR BLUE!”
Language tests.
If you do a language you’ll understand this more; have you ever gone to do a language test and then realised something strange about the questions? They’re not in English! It’s detrimental! Let’s say that you were bad at ‘said language’, by also having the instructions in that languages you don’t even stand a chance!
The lack of time.
Some people say ‘time only flies when you’re having fun’ and those people are heartless liars! In the hall time changes, what feels like a minute could easily be an hour, it’s as if time itself changed to spite you. But what can you do? Should you succumb to the affliction of lost time? Maybe… I do not have the answers you seek.
The wait.
After you’ve crawled out of the deep abyss called ‘exams,’ there’s the wait. Those last ten minutes where you’re just sitting there; waiting, waiting, waiting for the time to run out but time appears to slow down. The torture. And suddenly, you catch yourself wondering the direction your life will go in if you fail. I mean, being a binman isn't so bad... it it?
But there’s something YOU can do about it. Spread the word. Let the world hear of this anguish. And find a way to ease the sorrow for others. It may be too late for me but there’s a chance that you and those around you could find a way to not feel haunted by tests and exams.
