8:10am Saturday 6th September 2008
By Charlotte Gray
With the launch of her autobiography last month, Elstree mother-turned-author Daniella Lerner relives the pain of the tragic deaths of her four sons 20 years ago.
After IVF treatment, Mrs Lerner, 45, gave birth to quintuplets — four boys and a girl — in October 1988, when they were just 27-and-a-half weeks’ old.
Sadly, only the girl, Jodi — who will be 20 this year — survived the premature birth, albeit with complications that left her with learning difficulties.
Mrs Lerner, of Deacons Hill Road, waited six years to commit her experiences to paper, but is now ready to explain how her traumatic ordeal, recalled in Four More Tears, changed her life forever. She hopes her zest for life will inspire others.
She explained: “I don’t think you ever come to terms with a loss like that — you grow around it. I have promised myself I would always remember my boys.
“They have made me how I am. My values changed as a result of losing children.
“I’m very driven — they made me stronger. I had to get on with my life.
“For a while, emotionally I shut down a lot. But when Benjamin, my fourth baby, died, I made a decision that I still had Jodi. I couldn’t let the grief overpower me and I had to stay focused and driven.”
But Jodi is lucky to be here. She was ventilated at ten weeks’ old and had to undergo closed-heart surgery.
She was then in and out of hospital with respiratory problems and just recently had a spinal operation.
Mrs Lerner added: “Jodi is a walking miracle. She’s a very special person. She’s needed a lot of attention to get to here. I’ve taken her everywhere. I’ve spent a huge amount of time with her — she’s my sidekick.”
Mrs Lerner, who went on to have three more daughters, has now decided to share her story in the hope of inspiring others.
She said: “Initially I wrote it because I thought it would be cathartic. Then I wrote it just for my babies — I didn’t think anything would come of it.
“A friend said I should write it as my journey, which I did. I have been through so much. It’s a state of mind. It’s not what the problem is, it’s how you deal with it.”
Every time she reads the book she cries, but Mrs Lerner is determined to show how strong she is.
She added: “I am a fitness fanatic as a result. I have run two marathons and it has been really good for me. It was a way of unwinding. It’s important for people to realise you can lead a life as well.”
Four More Tears is available online at Amazon, WHSmith and through Ecademy Press
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