A PLAN to give pigeons pills to prevent them breeding backfired when the birds were instead fed an aphrodisiac.

Town centre managers came up with the scheme after being accused of cruelty when shooting the much-maligned birds to keep their population down.

However, instead of suppressing the pigeons' sexual appetite bungling contractors, Polo Frail, fed the birds Bremelanotide - which served to increase their lustful desires.

A spokesman for the company explained: "It was a terrible mix-up. Unfortunately we got the pills we were supposed to use confused with ones one of our staff was using to help with his marital problems.

"The only choice we have now is to wait it out."

Complaints of mucky birds canoodling in full view of shoppers have flooded our newsroom, with some visitors saying they have been attacked by over-amorous pigeons.

Susanne Dallinger had been shopping with her husband yesterday afternoon but found herself the target of some unwanted attentions.

Mrs Dallinger said: "My husband and I had just popped into the town centre to pick up a few bits and bobs when a flock of amorous birds came straight for me.

"I was wearing a hat with a feather in it, and I think that's what might have attracted them. But it was like a scene from Hitchcock's birds.

"Mums were grabbing their children and running for cover. If it hadn't been so scary it would have been funny."

Dr Ronald Hard, a specialist in aphrodisiacs, warned the birds would experience some quite impressive staying power.

He said: "This drug has a particularly powerful effect on pigeon. Tests show it will be sometime before the birds lose that loving feeling.

"In the meantime people should do their best not to attract the birds' attentions. Avoid wearing bright colours, feathered caps or ponchos."

  • For the record: this was an April Fool's story - Ed.