Editor's eye: Are beer and fags really the best tributes to the dead?

5:07pm Monday 15th October 2012 in News By Andrew Parkes, News Shopper editor

Flowers are one thing, but should mourners really be creating shrines of beer and fags? Flowers are one thing, but should mourners really be creating shrines of beer and fags?

FITTING tribute or a filthy mess cluttering our streets. What is this modern obsession with providing food and drink for the dead?

Four cans of Stella, a packet of fags, a West Ham shirt, a picture of a dead cat and a meat pie — the perfect selection of items to see you safely into the next life.

In times past, different cultures felt it essential to send the dead on their way with appropriate objects, if you were lucky they even killed a goat. However, I thought we’d moved on to the point where we said our goodbyes at the Crem and either gave flowers or a contribution to charity.

But, some folk seem hell bent on recreating shrines. To be fair this started with perfectly reasonable displays of floral tributes left carefully at the roadside. But, it has progressed to the point where bottles of Smirnoff Ice are being left on pavements and then relatives are shocked and upset when living teenagers nick and down them.

I’m the last person who’d try and tell people how they should grieve, but littering highways is not a good idea for anyone. And then there’s the cost of the council clear-up.

With some of the items being left at shrines it does make you wonder what might be next? Shoes, a bottle of tomato ketchup, a mucky mag?

I think it might be sensible for us to return to respecting our dead, laying them to rest peacefully and remembering them for all the good things they did while they were alive.

After all, the departed don’t benefit from having a tide of detritus left behind in their memory.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Add your comments below.

Comments(11)

Outandabout says...
5:14pm Mon 15 Oct 12

Contrary to what I sometimes hear, this behaviour didn't start with Diana. It has escalated for a few years long before that. Personally I don't like it. I want my loved ones to be remembered for where they lived and enjoyed life rather than measured by how or where they died. I think maybe because they are such grandiose displays that perhaps less, much less would mean more and would be more poignant.

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SAWDAT says...
7:30pm Mon 15 Oct 12

It's not about you mate. These people are grieving - so if it makes them feel
better and it don't hurt anyone -why
give them more grief ?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

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Gypo.Joe says...
7:32pm Mon 15 Oct 12

This nonsense is a fine example of the chav society at it's very best. You did leave out one thing though Mr Parkes, the half a dozen or so spotty herberts and their equally spotty chav tarts milling around grieving their dearly departed M8(s)

What's even worse than these chav shrines is the attire/turn out at the funeral. Whatever happened to a dark suit and a tie ?

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billybones says...
8:17pm Mon 15 Oct 12

It's good that someone has the guts to write an article like this rather than stepping around the subject.
Gypo Joe is spot on; SAWDAT is obviously a chav.

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D.D.S.B says...
10:44pm Mon 15 Oct 12

Does the NS now recruit its staff from the people who leave the most boring predictable comments on articles? Or was this little opinion piece actually written by some kind of machine that just strings together the most outraged and half-formed ideas people leave along with a couple of cliches? I come here for actual news with a veneer of credibility in the articles, and relentless meandering stupidity which completely misses the point in the comments; please don't let the two mix so much in future.

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the wall says...
10:10am Tue 16 Oct 12

Brilliant. At last someone has the bottle to write about the tacky way some people grieve. People need to be told how there is a better way to grieve, it can be done in a positive way.

To many times people grieve in a very negative self destructive manner. Death should be about celebrating the life that the departed had. Not some tacky road side shrines.

Look at the death of Diana, all those people that just put money in the pocket of the florist, Diana would have preferred that money go to one her charities. they all completely missed the point.

The wearing of black how glum is that, I went a funeral a few years back and everyone was told not to wear black the more colours the better.
Death and grieving is such a taboo subject but the more you talk about it the easier it is to deal with it.

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Bob Downondiss says...
11:16am Tue 16 Oct 12

D.D.S.B wrote:
Does the NS now recruit its staff from the people who leave the most boring predictable comments on articles? Or was this little opinion piece actually written by some kind of machine that just strings together the most outraged and half-formed ideas people leave along with a couple of cliches? I come here for actual news with a veneer of credibility in the articles, and relentless meandering stupidity which completely misses the point in the comments; please don't let the two mix so much in future.
Your comment on the story is ???????


"relentless meandering stupidity which completely misses the point"

BINGO !!

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PaulErith says...
12:02pm Tue 16 Oct 12

As far as I'm concerned, if it helps people to grieve then creating a shrine is fine. Personally, I'd never contribute to a shrine and I grieve privately. I'm sometimes suprised by the hysteria, e.g. after Diana died, what an over reaction. However, if it's not doing any harm, then let people get on with it.

And, whilst I wouldn't encourage it, if my mates decided to build a shrine to me, I'd prefer a can of beer than flowers. I only ever buy them when I need to apologise to the misus after I've arrived home late from the boozer! lol!

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Outandabout says...
1:56pm Tue 16 Oct 12

SAWDAT wrote:
It's not about you mate. These people are grieving - so if it makes them feel
better and it don't hurt anyone -why
give them more grief ?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
I think I prefaced my comments with 'personally' and while decocracy and free speech seems to still prevail I shall continue to express MY opinion and not yours, mate

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SAWDAT says...
4:05pm Tue 16 Oct 12

Apologies about the misunderstanding Outandabout.
my comments weren't directed at you
but at the original article.

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Hk says...
12:31pm Wed 17 Oct 12

These shrines are always going to happen. The things that are left there albeit some of them 'strange' obviously have a personal or sentimental connection to the deceased person. If people want to leave things then it should be entirely up to them.

Going on to what people wear at funerals. Alot of people before they die, and Ive heard it myself, say they would prefer people to dress in their normal everyday attire, they dont want people all turning up in black. Just because they dont wear black or a suit and tie doesnt mean they are chavs.

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