Maiden Voyage Pictures **

TALES of women hopelessly addicted to their pink, plastic, whirring pleasure toys could have been so good.

Sadly, said potential doesn't even get a look-in with this poorly acted/scripted/ directed embarrassment of a British film.

Tagged a "mockumentary mediation on female masturbation", the weak storyline follows several women whose addiction to their Rabbits has wreaked havoc and heartache in their lives.

The premise just doesn't stretch to a feature film, and the gags are juvenile and obvious, barely provoking a smile.

Several cameos from varying levels of "celebrity" (shame on you Germaine Greer) serve only to add to the cringe-factor.