Top 10 weirdest things seen or heard in shops around SE London and north Kent

A 50p super-glued to the floor, a lost but nice-smelling car and a customer's odd phone request - bizarre situations at Bluewater

A 50p super-glued to the floor, a lost but nice-smelling car and a customer's odd phone request - bizarre situations at Bluewater

First published in News

Here is a top 10 of the most unusual requests, actions or questions from customers in shops around south-east London and north Kent.

All of these bizarre situations were witnessed by Robert Whiffen, from New Eltham, who submitted this as part of our ‘write a top 10 list’ competition.

If you have an interesting or funny list, send it to us for the chance to win £50 when the competition ends on March 31. See below for details.

This Is Local London: 4head headache relief

1. Sidcup Morrisons, a customer asked a sales assistant if they sold 4skin sticks to relieve headaches. The actual product is called 4Head. This question resulted in a belly laugh all round!

2. While working at a sports store in Bluewater, we super-glued a 50p to the floor just outside the store front. I was very surprised how many people bent down to pick it up and then tried to kick it free. If you're shopping at Bluewater, 50p should be the least of your worries! It was mostly men so maybe the wives was maxing the credit cards!

This Is Local London: Straw

3. Tesco Sidcup, a young woman asks a store assistant "what does cottage cheese taste like?", the assistant replies "I have never tried it" so the customer replies "I hope it doesn't taste of thatch because I hate straw".

4. In my late teens, I worked at a large department store in Bromley High Street and we purchased a fake poo and placed that in the female changing rooms. All day, we manned that fitting room and not one complaint! At the end of the day the fake poo was still there, however, there was a visible bum imprint on the mirror just above where the poo was left!

5. 99p store Sidcup, customer raises a pack of bubble wrap to a staff member and asks "How much is this?" Really?!

This Is Local London: Dariusz Koczan, manager of the 99p Store in Lymington

The clue is kind of in the name

6. While working at a mobile phone company at Bluewater, I took a call from a customer who had managed to crack the screen on his phone. Upon asking him to bring the phone in for repair, he asked "why can't you fix it over the phone?"

This Is Local London: Phone meme

7. A charity shop in Sidcup, talking about an Ikea oak dining table with six chairs. "This price is ridiculous, £80 and it has scratches, what discount will you give me?" Staff member: "We're a charity shop, it's used goods but you're more than welcome to go to Ikea and buy it for £300 or more!"

8. Working at a store in Bluewater, a female customer purchases her goods, I pass them onto her. She hands me her car keys and says "can you bring my car closer, I can't remember where I parked it, it's a white one with a nice smell!"

9. NatWest Eltham, guy asks for £20 withdrawal, cashier asks him to insert his card and input his PIN. "You don't have £20 available in your account so you'll be unable to withdraw that today.” Customer: "You're a bank, how can you not have any money?"

This Is Local London: Why gif

What do you mean by 'NO'?! (Source: giphy.com)

10. Post Office New Eltham, customer "I need to renew my car tax, I only need six months as I'm going to sell my car." She shoves the documents under the counter. Postmaster: "We don't do car tax here, we have signs, I'm sorry you queued." Customer: "I've queued, presented my documents, now you do what you need to do to print me off that little circle that I need!"

To enter our list competition fill in your details here and write your own top 10. It can be a top 10 memories of ..., top 10 facts about ..., top 10 reasons for ... – anything you like really, and so much the better if you can put a local spin on it.

Once we receive your list we'll check it over and if it's suitable we'll publish it at newsshopper.co.uk. Out of all the lists received between now and March 31 we'll pick our favourite, taking into account page views and shares after it's been published, and the author of the winning list will be sent a £50 cheque.

Comments (4)

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9:10am Thu 6 Mar 14

highway warrior says...

When I used to work in a well known national car accessories store we had several customers come in asking for a new 710 cap for their engine. Much hilarity and mirth ensued as we turned it round and showed them that it actually said OIL......
When I used to work in a well known national car accessories store we had several customers come in asking for a new 710 cap for their engine. Much hilarity and mirth ensued as we turned it round and showed them that it actually said OIL...... highway warrior
  • Score: 8

6:42pm Thu 6 Mar 14

ACAB_SE25 says...

The most bizarre and disturbing thing I have ever overheard is the following:

I was walking through the Glades shopping centre in Bromley and happened to be directly behind a chavvy type woman with a few kids with her. One of the children, a boy aged about 10, was misbehaving something rotten. The mother tried to chastise him on a few occasions with no joy and the lad in question getting more and more unruly. She suddenly turned to him and angrily said "You need to behave yourself and stop showing me up, I swear If I knew who your father was I would send you to live with him!"

I nearly spat my coffee all over her back trying to stifle my laughter!!
The most bizarre and disturbing thing I have ever overheard is the following: I was walking through the Glades shopping centre in Bromley and happened to be directly behind a chavvy type woman with a few kids with her. One of the children, a boy aged about 10, was misbehaving something rotten. The mother tried to chastise him on a few occasions with no joy and the lad in question getting more and more unruly. She suddenly turned to him and angrily said "You need to behave yourself and stop showing me up, I swear If I knew who your father was I would send you to live with him!" I nearly spat my coffee all over her back trying to stifle my laughter!! ACAB_SE25
  • Score: 10

8:17pm Thu 6 Mar 14

Kent76 says...

ACAB_SE25 wrote:
The most bizarre and disturbing thing I have ever overheard is the following:

I was walking through the Glades shopping centre in Bromley and happened to be directly behind a chavvy type woman with a few kids with her. One of the children, a boy aged about 10, was misbehaving something rotten. The mother tried to chastise him on a few occasions with no joy and the lad in question getting more and more unruly. She suddenly turned to him and angrily said "You need to behave yourself and stop showing me up, I swear If I knew who your father was I would send you to live with him!"

I nearly spat my coffee all over her back trying to stifle my laughter!!
Wow!! What a thing to overhear!! I'm glad I know who my Dad is.... Or do I?! LOL!!

Please share this article on social networks etc as if this wins the competition, the £50 will go to Starlight, a kids cancer charity.

Thanks for reading.
[quote][p][bold]ACAB_SE25[/bold] wrote: The most bizarre and disturbing thing I have ever overheard is the following: I was walking through the Glades shopping centre in Bromley and happened to be directly behind a chavvy type woman with a few kids with her. One of the children, a boy aged about 10, was misbehaving something rotten. The mother tried to chastise him on a few occasions with no joy and the lad in question getting more and more unruly. She suddenly turned to him and angrily said "You need to behave yourself and stop showing me up, I swear If I knew who your father was I would send you to live with him!" I nearly spat my coffee all over her back trying to stifle my laughter!![/p][/quote]Wow!! What a thing to overhear!! I'm glad I know who my Dad is.... Or do I?! LOL!! Please share this article on social networks etc as if this wins the competition, the £50 will go to Starlight, a kids cancer charity. Thanks for reading. Kent76
  • Score: 4

7:32pm Fri 7 Mar 14

Linja says...

This is from the early 1940s, my mum worked in Woolworths in Oxford Street and a well to do lady came in with a bath mat she had purchased a few day earlier and complained that it didn't keep her afloat in the bath!
This is from the early 1940s, my mum worked in Woolworths in Oxford Street and a well to do lady came in with a bath mat she had purchased a few day earlier and complained that it didn't keep her afloat in the bath! Linja
  • Score: 2

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