1. Chislehurst station is not actually in Chislehurst
Not strictly true but it might as well be. Chislehurst station is down the ridiculously steep Summer Hill miles from the High Street. Better walk to Elmstead Woods or get a bus to Mottingham if you want to get into London.
2. People who turn right at the War Memorial are incredibly annoying
The lights go green and you’re all ready to head up past the shops when someone starts indicating. Five minutes later and you’re still stuck there because everyone’s started doing it. What the hell is Prince Imperial Road for?!
3. Chislehurst and Sidcup Grammar School takes too long to say
That’s why it’s better known as Chis and Sid. The Quentin Blake Building is named after the legendary illustrator and alumnus.
Sir Quentin loves a bit of Chislehurst.
4. Kids like to hang out by Sainsbury’s
The covered walkway by the bus stop is where it’s at apparently. Be prepared to walk a gauntlet of the yoof on Friday and Saturday nights. The guys wear gillets, the girls wear leggings and it smells like Lynx and cigarettes.
Fun fact: comedian Rob Beckett used to work there.
It's quiet now but just you wait...
5. Fish tastes good in a car park
Chummy’s sells fresh seafood from a van in the car park on Victoria Road every Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. If you're looking for a fishy fix can find it here – they’ve got tasty whelks, eels and cockles coming out of their ears. The king prawns with sweet chilli sauce are a must.
Elizabeth Harris gets all chummy.
6. The Lounge is not a sitting room.
It is a nightclub in the middle of a quiet residential area. The back garden's nice in the summer.
Calling all lounge lizards.
7. Camera cars are a necessary evil.
If you’ve ever tried to make your way down Red Hill at about 8.30am you’ve probably had to wait behind a line of cars parked on yellow lines while parents usher their little darlings across the road. Go get ‘em, camera car.
I can see you.
8. Some restaurants have no name but look quite nice to eat at.
What is this place on the High Street called?! Why is there no sign to say what it is called?! Do they not have trouble when people want to book but don’t know the name of where they are booking?! (If the owners are reading this please get in touch and enlighten us).
Just give me a sign.
9. Caves are scary.
Chislehurst Caves are cool but they are a bit creepy. Steer clear if dark, enclosed spaces freak you out but definitely head down there if you like bats.
10. Ponds are nice.
This one even has a duck house, though local MP Bob Neill certainly didn’t get it on expenses.
11. Chislehurst is not common.
It may have a Common, but it is well upmarket thank you very much.
Hey nonny nonny etc.
Do you live in Chislehurst and have strong views on the subject? Let us know below.