Secret Curmudgeon: Tightening my head in a vice was more enjoyable than watching England vs Poland (From This Is Local London)
Report news now! Text pictures & video to 80360, starting message with WITNESS then leave a space
Secret Curmudgeon: Tightening my head in a vice was more enjoyable than watching England vs Poland
So, who watched the England football team play Poland on Tuesday?
No, me neither. I was busy tightening my head in a vice that night. It was much more enjoyable.
No, there’s enough misery in the world already without having to deliberately seek out more by watching that overpaid shower run around like headless chickens – whether they qualified or not.
I put watching an England match in the same category as, say, Police Academy 6. You don’t need to watch it to know it’s going to be rubbish (although, I must admit, the next film, Police Academy 7 – Mission to Moscow is up there with Citizen Kane in my opinion).
One quick scan of the match report in the Times newspaper confirmed my suspicions. “A tense night”, “a night of excruciating tension” – with the manager adding he “died 1,000 deaths” during the game”.
No, I’ve had too many years of supporting England and hoping. Hoping they can turn on the style during the big tournaments. But it never happens.
Except on rare occasions such as beating Argentina in 2002, etc.
Younger fans have got an excuse. They’re young – and still full of hope that a team unable to pass and control a ball with any degree of skill can suddenly become good enough to win a World Cup.
No they won’t.
But anyone above the age of 30. They’ve got no excuse!
And who are these people who still go and watch England? Stumping up hard-earned cash to go to Wembley or travel out to Brazil?
I can understand it with lower league clubs. Supporting your team through thick and thin – and all that. But not the England squad!
No. I’d rather watch an Alan Carr DVD. Maybe not.
Comments are closed on this article.